It has become painfully obvious that a small percentage of the population require some advice on etiquette when dining out. As a (somewhat) professional i am going to offer up some advice.

1. As a general rule in regard to gratuity 10% is insulting, 15% is acceptable and 20% shows respect and gratitude for a good to great dining experience. As someone in the industry i always tip more than 20% whether it's Boston Pizza or French Laundry.

2. Just because the bread is free does not mean you can have as much as you want, especially if you ordered a salad and water.

3. If you had an unsatisfactory dining experience please let us know. We really want everybody to enjoy themselves.

4. If your meal is unsatisfactory please let us know right away so that we can fix it. If you tell us after you are finished we assume you are looking for a free meal.

5. If you get something extra or for free it is a gift, don't expect it every time.

6. If service is slow it means we are really busy. Before complaining have a look around. Is the restaurant full? Are there several orders going in at the same time? It is safe to assume that if you see several tables with menus open at the same time that service may be somewhat delayed. Rest assured that we are working as hard and fast as we can to get you what you need.

7. We know what you want before you do. If we are slow getting you an 8th cocktail or third bottle of wine it's because we know you don't really want that hangover or DUI.

8. If you are unsure about tasting wine follow these steps: approve the label (make sure it's what you ordered), swirl the wine in the glass, sniff and sip. (You can even skip the sniff.) This tasting is not to see if you like the wine, but to check for quality. If you don't like it you may or may not be stuck with it, depending on the variety and price. An open bottle of wine is hard to sell.

9. Let us pour your wine for you.

10. If you are in a rush, go to the drive thru.

11. If you are bringing your children please come early so that you can be served promptly and the kids don't get restless.

12. Everybody is "friends" with the owner.

13. Don't worry about your cutlery, we'll make sure you have what you need.

14. The chef does appreciate compliments. The chef does not appreciate being pulled into conversations in the middle of a busy service.

15. Don't call us honey, darling, sweety etc. It's condescending.

16. Please don't assume we know you unless we have personally served you more than twice.

17. Relax. Enjoy the food, the company, the atmosphere and the wine.

18. And then go home. If you are the only table in the restaurant on a week night don't sit and chat for two hours without ordering anything else. Lots of us have kids and families to go home to and wake up with in the morning.

Thank you.

*photo by victornuno/

As we were beginning dinner service last night the power went out. Despite living in an area of frequent power outages, this was the first time it had happened to me at work. The restaurant was instantly silent. We had about 8 customers in at the time and were expecting a full house by the end of the evening. The silence was awkward, no music, no talking, no fans and fire from the kitchen. The restaurant had gone from a bustle to complete stillness in the blink of an eye.

We spent a few moments assessing the situation, determined that power was out for a large portion of the island (freaky) and decided to continue on in the spirit of thanks. We had a turkey hot (and done) out of the oven and could use the gas on the stoves only intermittently as the hood fans were down. Instead of choosing between a traditional turkey dinner, venison or handmade raviolis, we offered each and every person a plate of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy and salad - no stuffing, no veg, no pretty extras.

Everybody was thrilled and as we filled the restaurant with candles and poured wine the atmosphere became a little bit magical. There was happiness and thankfulness. Everything that was important was right there in that little room. Family, friends, food. Simple and perfect. It gave me a thanks when i couldn't be with my own family.

When i was single working nights was perfect. Days with the kids, nights at work.

It's more complicated now. Trying to fit in time for everything is nearly impossible. And before you ask; no, i'm not quitting my job. Working is something i love to do. I love having money that i earn. I love getting out of the house. We love the dual incomes. Anyway, in our year apart shane and i both got used to a schedule that included a few days a week without the kids where we could recharge and feel like adults. It's really the only positive thing i can say about single parenting - shared custody. Obviously i usually missed them the moment they were gone and felt like half a person, but now that i don't have that time? I'm exhausted.

Shane and i don't even see each other four days a week. He leaves early in the morning and arrives home after i've left for work. I am usually home around midnight, long after he's gone to sleep. Sometimes i wake him up and we have quiet conversations in bed until i fall asleep exhausted.

It is a mixed bag. There is definitely that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" aspect to it all. But, it is also difficult as we are in such a fragile place in our relationship right now and really need to spend time together to reconnect and heal. When we have a great conversation then don't see each other for a few days there is a two steps back feeling.

Throwing into the mix the purchase of a new home, selling his and general life drama we are doing amazingly well.