I think the reason i had so much fun in miami is that i was expecting nothing. I was expecting to be sent into some hurly burly sadness and despair.

Travelling to my miami by myself was liberating. I loved running through the airports knowing that i was completely free and in charge of my own destiny. Nobody was watching me to make sure i was okay. Nobody knew me. I was just another traveller. On my way to or from some journey. Another person plugged into their ipod, desperately trying to get an overpriced wifi connection in airports across the country.

Miami was beautiful. A place so different from my home. A place where i could let go of all my anxiety and sadness for a few days.

Travelling home was painful and long - save for a visit with shane's sister, her husband and their very beautiful two month old son in toronto. I held that baby, gently swept my face across his soft and new head, and felt alive and happy.

When i got home and snuck into bed beside parker in the early morning hours his chubby little hand reached out and hesitantly touched my face and hair. Testing to see if it was really me. He sat up in his sleep, gave me a kiss and a hug and settled back into gentle snores. His head resting in the curve where my arm meets my body.

I spent the day yesterday enjoying my children. My head filling with the colds of thousands of miles covered breathing the recycled air of hundreds of people. The head cold is a small price to pay for the days away and the appreciation they gave me for this life i have and share.

Today is my birthday. I am happy to have reached this birthday. I am happy to have gone through so much mental torment this year. It has made me realize how hard this life is. How many beautiful things there are. How much i adore my family. Every cute and smelly inch of them.

I am not all better. I don't want to be portraying that here. One day, everything is all better. It doesn't work that way. The other night i had a small breakdown by the pool. I heaved the most massive tears i have ever cried. I moaned and tears flowed. Shane held me.It was the first time i have cried since this whole thing started. It was horrible.

I am seperated from my sadness here in miami. I have left it behind me for now. I am ignoring it while i enjoy this beautiful place with my husband.

Today we are going on a swamp tour in honour of my birthday. I'm totally psyched.

Oh the day i had yesterday. Before you read any further i'm going to bitch about george bush and america in general. So stop now if you're easily offended by a travelling canadian.

I arrived in chicago around 3:00 yesterday. The airport was a total zoo. Thousands and thousands of people squished into a little terminal. We had to go back through security which was an hour long snaking line-up through the airport. Then once in the terminal, with only mcdonalds and starbucks to eat, everybody was informed of 2-4 hour delays on all flights. Apparently one inch of snow in the morning shut down the whole airport.

There was no internet access. Cell phone coverage was spotty.

I boarded my flight to miami at 8:25pm. Five hours. No internet. No nothing.

Once on the plane the captain told us that the airport had been shut down because airforce one had landed. Bono and George Bush. How can the taxpayers of this country accept that kind of inconvenience and total disrespect for peoples time? What the hell do they think is going to happen if airforce one lands among the riffraff?

There were a lot of pissed off people on that plane.

I don't understand how a country can idolize people so much that they deserve conveniences far and beyond anything any of us can ever hope for. I wonder if they would shut down the airport for brad and angelina? Part of me cringes, knowing that it's possible.

In canada our political comedian, jon stewart type - rick mercer - he goes fishing with the man set to take over a political party. Then they end the segment with a skinny dip. All on national television. That's what makes canada amazing. We make fun of ourselves. We try not totake ourselves to seriously. We try to have fun.

Anyway, miami is beautiful. Miami beach is incredible. Warm, humid, beautiful ocean colours and palm trees. My 16 hour travel day is a memory already. I am enjoying a beer poolside. I feel like i've taken a step back in time to the 50's.

After a sleepless night, i snuck out of my sleepover room, piled high with my kids bodies. I kissed each of them and drove the hour to victoria as the sun came up over the mountains.

Yesterday i stepped in a mud soaked bog in my precious earth shoe maryjanes. I have been running through airports and across borders with one very muddy, still damp foot. At each security check when i take my shoes off i can't help but laugh. I'm sure i'll fit in great in miami.

I am back in the seattle airport again. It seems like yesterday i came through here travelling to BlogHer. Onwards to chicago.