serving it right

When i was single working nights was perfect. Days with the kids, nights at work.

It's more complicated now. Trying to fit in time for everything is nearly impossible. And before you ask; no, i'm not quitting my job. Working is something i love to do. I love having money that i earn. I love getting out of the house. We love the dual incomes. Anyway, in our year apart shane and i both got used to a schedule that included a few days a week without the kids where we could recharge and feel like adults. It's really the only positive thing i can say about single parenting - shared custody. Obviously i usually missed them the moment they were gone and felt like half a person, but now that i don't have that time? I'm exhausted.

Shane and i don't even see each other four days a week. He leaves early in the morning and arrives home after i've left for work. I am usually home around midnight, long after he's gone to sleep. Sometimes i wake him up and we have quiet conversations in bed until i fall asleep exhausted.

It is a mixed bag. There is definitely that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" aspect to it all. But, it is also difficult as we are in such a fragile place in our relationship right now and really need to spend time together to reconnect and heal. When we have a great conversation then don't see each other for a few days there is a two steps back feeling.

Throwing into the mix the purchase of a new home, selling his and general life drama we are doing amazingly well.