Over the past month my perspective on myself and my place in the world has changed. Not a subtle change, drastic.
Almost three years ago a depression began to creep it's way into my life. It was a slow spiral downwards that caught speed as it narrowed and left me in crisis one year ago. This year i spent in survival mode. Getting through each day. I thought i was doing well. I was doing well, but i wasn't seeing the world. I wasn't seeing the path of destruction that i left discarded behind me.
This past month i stopped and turned around. I opened my field of vision. I let everything in, the good, the bad and the ugly. I let the anger i've been carrying drop to the sides a little.
I have been blaming everyone for all my problems when, truth be told, i brought them all on myself. I looked at my husband and told him how truly sorry i am. I saw him clearly for the first time in almost a year as the man i married, the man i loved. I saw the hurt that has been tearing him apart. I saw his perfect heart, the heart i lost and i wanted it back.
I asked for it back and he gave it to me.
Posted by Jess at 01:48 PM Permalink
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You made me weep. I'm cheering for you!
Posted by Tess | July 29, 2008 02:53 PM