now he's nine

Two days ago Toby turned nine years old. Thus bringing to a close the month of birthdays.

Toby is my sensitive, tender-hearted boy. He often gets hurt in that way where your heart gets big in your chest and you have to fight hard not to break into tears. I remember feeling that way a lot as a child. It is always painful to watch him when he feels that way. Often it is over a small thing that would be insignificant to other children, but Toby feels it deep in his soul.

He is also a wonderful friend. Both for me and the kids. He is chatty and inquisitive and observant. He knows where everything is at my house, his dads house and even his classroom. His teacher commented to me recently that she wouldn't be able to run her class so well if it wasn't for the help of my little guy.

His friends at school adore him. I watch them interact and it makes me feel all gooey inside to see him leading a group of boys in one fort building project or another.

Reading and writing are still a struggle for Toby. The hardest part is not letting him get discouraged. He so badly wants to be like all the other kids and feels ashamed when he can't keep up. He doesn't understand that his Apraxia makes it difficult for him, not any incompetence on his part. He's a really clever boy and compensates for his learning disability in creative ways.

He often sneaks in bed with me and i know he's there as he digs his feet into my back. He always wakes up with a smile. The mornings are the only time i can get a hug out of him now.

I love him and am so proud of him. I hope life gets a little easier for him this year.