timebucket

I was blown away when i got my photobucket pictures last week and saw this photo in it. All this time i had thought i was in the psych ward last january when it was actually the end of march.

I have wished many times over the pat year to go back to that bed. To change the course of events that followed. I would have stayed in the hospital longer instead of letting the guilt of being away from my children push me to leave too soon.

I would have told the psychiatrists the truth over the depths of despair i was feeling. I would have told them that thoughts of suicide were plaguing me. How i would spend hours planning, feeling the only answer to the pain in my heart and my head was a final escape.

I would have stayed there and worked on getting better. Maybe i could have avoided the mess my life would become in the following year.

I want to say sorry to that woman sitting there and the man with the hand behind her.