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February 09, 2008

close your eyes and dance alone in the room

everyone's starting over

I took the day off yesterday. No kids. No work.

It's hard to be alone with myself. Sitting still. Relaxing.

I find myself cleaning, doing laundry. Driving around. Shopping.

Avoiding. Avoiding the swirling thoughts.

I am really alone. I am lonely. Who am i. Do i like the person i am. The person i've become.

I ended up tucking myself in the corner of a local brewpub. Drinking a blue martini. Eating a basket of sweet potato fries with chipotle aioli. Imaging what the people around me were thinking. Did they sit alone and wonder the same things i do. Are we all avoiding these same questions?

Are we all afraid to be alone?


Posted by Jess at 10:15 AM Permalink

Comments (6)

marian

the answer is yes....

Posted by marian | February 9, 2008 11:34 AM

Judy

At times, being alone is terrifying. At other times, it's peaceful.

Posted by Judy | February 9, 2008 02:02 PM

Judy

At times, being alone is terrifying. At other times, it's peaceful.

Posted by Judy | February 9, 2008 02:02 PM

jessica

Holy Friggin that pic gave me the heebie jeebies, jess.

Ever wonder what a hermit thinks? With so much time alone, they must think an awful lot. And why do they choose to live such a lonely existence? There is so much fear in the world. Everyone is simply.......afraid. Strange, and somehow, disturbingly comforting, to be connected through that fear. That at least we all have in common.

Sounds a bit like anxiety is kicking your arse. It hasn't been long since the meds stopped. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Posted by jessica | February 9, 2008 02:13 PM

Renee

I'm bad at being alone. I tend to do what you mentioned, cleaning up, laundry. It's like I feel guilty for having time just for myself. I need to break out of that.

Posted by Renee | February 9, 2008 09:35 PM

denise

I must be one of those freaks who like my alone time. I always have even as a kid.

Posted by denise | February 10, 2008 09:13 AM

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