Please listen to this song.
It has been my theme song lately. I skip around whistling it in my head. It's just one of those things, one of those songs that seems to fit perfectly with your life at a moment.
That's what i love about music. That's why i think i've always been attracted to and attracted musicians. I have such a respect for the talent. The magic of those perfect moments. Sometimes it's at a live show and sometimes it's right in your living room.
I have been introspective lately. Really looking in on myself. Trying to piece together my life. How it all came together as it has. Reflecting not on the negative, but the positive. The friends that have come in and out of my life. The memories that have stuck around. Amazed by the little things i remember.
Small moments in my marriage and my dating life before my marriage where i felt absolute joy. Pure love, brief moments forever etched into my memory. My heart.
I really want my marriage to be something i remember fondly. Something that i can share with the kids. Because it didn't last forever doesn't mean that i want to erase it from my life. I was married to a wonderful man. We had four beautiful children. I will always love him. It just didn't work out. For a multitude of reasons.
But, the reasons don't matter anymore. If i focus and dwell on those i will never be happy. I will never be able to celebrate that period of my life and the bounty it produced.
I will never call him "my ex." It's so shallow. So mean. He will always be shane.
Posted by Jess at 10:35 PM Permalink
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It's a beautiful song. I had to listen to it over and over again. And man does it ever seem to be perfect. All of it.
And these lyrics:
"Hit the bottom, play all the saddest songs I know, don't worry 'bout me.....I'll be ok."
And you will. You are. And those kids of yours, they sure are lucky to have both you and Shane in their lives.
Posted by jessica | January 28, 2008 11:51 PM