compelling honesty

It is always hard when i pick up the kids on monday. The transition from house to house. The emotions.

They always greet me with such enthusiasm. Kisses and love. It rejuvenates me.

I am always exhausted on monday mornings. Having done nothing but work since the moment i drop them off on friday. This weekend it was almost sixty hours of work. A long weekend full of busy restaurants. Families celebrating time together. Remembering loved ones and families lost in battle.

A weekend full of customers wanting to talk, to share their experiences. It is nice to be a part of this theatre. The theatre of dining. I go home and fall into bed. Dreaming of soldiers and children. Nightmares about slow service in the bistro. Spilling soup on clean clothes.

Then i pick up the kids and i want to give them everything i have. But, i have so little. Totally body exhaustion takes over. I find myself face down on the floor. Sound asleep while they play around me. And then begins the crazy week of school and playdates and activities and working still.

It is hard, merging these two lives i have now. Doing it alone. Wanting to share with someone how incredibly tired i am. Someone to help. Someone to tell me it's all going just fine.

Posted by Jess at 10:19 AM Permalink

Comments (13)

brutal honesty

maybe the guy you had an affair with?

Posted by brutal honesty | November 13, 2007 04:26 PM

denise

Hey you suck ass! How can you come on to a blog a say that? Get going no one wants your rude comments.

Posted by denise | November 13, 2007 04:36 PM

bonnie

Jess,
You're on a journey. The destination is one day at a time until you can put more together than that.
I keep checking in on you. I know you're worried about you. I'm worried about you too.

Posted by bonnie | November 13, 2007 06:08 PM

Jan

It IS all going just fine, it's just really hard, that's all. You are doing the best you can and that is good enough for right now. Hang in there! And I like the way you talk about your kids.

Posted by Jan | November 13, 2007 07:13 PM

Jessica

Lean on the friends you've got Jess. You ARE doing a damn fine job. The kids love and appreciate you for who you are...and what you are trying to do. Be ever so careful of burnout...sounds like you are getting close. And if you ever need to talk, give me a shout.

Biggest hugs as always

Posted by Jessica | November 13, 2007 07:37 PM

jenijen

it's good to hear from you. isn't it funny how when the kids are babies we think that as they get older we'll have more time to rest. not funny ha-ha, obviously. i hope things get so that you aren't working so much and you can rest.

love you
xoxo

Posted by jenijen | November 13, 2007 10:24 PM

lelly

the *theatre of dining.* i love that.
enjoy the transition as best you can.

Posted by lelly | November 14, 2007 06:02 AM

Terra

Don't forget those kids are your lifeline. I know. They are the air you breathe. You CAN do this. I've said that before. I know you must feel like everyone is mad at you and you are to blame, but that is not true. There are people out there who would embrace you, if you reach out to them. That's the hardest part, holding that hand out for help.
HUGS from afar
Terra

Posted by Terra | November 14, 2007 06:57 AM

marian

It's hard and exhausting and you can do it. You're not alone. There are millions of women all over the world who are like you, struggling on their own to make a life for themselves and their children. It will never be easy, but it can be done.

Take your vitamins, honey! You never know what may be coming around the corner to help you. Keep the faith.

Posted by marian | November 14, 2007 08:19 AM

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Posted by zhmowsxg@mail.com | December 13, 2007 02:17 AM

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Posted by zhmowsxg@mail.com | December 13, 2007 02:19 AM

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Posted by zhmowsxg@mail.com | December 13, 2007 02:20 AM

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