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October 03, 2007

the world will never, ever, be the same

It's been hard.

I've had better days.

I feel very alone. Circumstances outside of my control. The breakdown of a marriage. The breakdown of a community. Sides have been decided.

I find myself on the losing end. Walking lonely and overwhelmed through the schoolyard.

Wishing i had family. I had support. I had the village.

Instead, i have the condo. An island unto myself.

The crazy work hours. Trying to keep it all together. Missing the kids. Missing the family bed.

This morning i found myself in tears at the school. Nobody to cry too.

Nobody to blame but myself.


Posted by Jess at 07:45 PM Permalink

Comments (14)

OMSH

Can you crawl back into the family bed? Nothing feels better than going home.

And my apologies if that is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard. I too love the family bed and would be desperate without it.

Posted by OMSH | October 3, 2007 06:16 AM

nailgirl

Aww Jess!

Posted by nailgirl | October 3, 2007 10:29 AM

marian

Just keep going Jess. No emotions last forever -- they come and go. Ride it out like you were riding out a contraction in labor and let it deliver you.

Posted by marian | October 3, 2007 11:36 AM

Deanna

You will be fine. You will make it through this.

Posted by Deanna | October 3, 2007 12:04 PM

Stacy

Awww...as a dear old friend told me: just wake up each day and ask for strength. Give me strength to make it through another day. It will all work out the way it should.

Posted by Stacy | October 3, 2007 03:58 PM

Debby

This has got to be so hard. I don't know you but I do feel for you. "The world will never, ever, be the same" So it's not the end of the world, just your world but a little different. Keep moving forward Jess. You know you can do this.

Posted by Debby | October 3, 2007 07:30 PM

E

After reading various blogs for a long time, i'm de-lurking for the first time on yours to say in just the few entries i've read, i see a huge amount of strength. Keep your head up, and look forward to new adventures.

Posted by E | October 3, 2007 08:35 PM

Melinda

Just reading through a few of your posts and I am so sorry to hear about your separation but it is important to keep yourself strong, especially for your kids so they can see that "life goes on" and maybe things will be better now than before. Good luck and don't blame yourself!

Posted by Melinda | October 3, 2007 09:20 PM

ade

Take it day by day. I believe you can do this, Jess. It won't be easy but you can do it. Be good to yourself.

xo

Posted by ade | October 4, 2007 09:26 AM

sweetney

i'm so sorry, jess. i'm thinking about you. hang in there...

Posted by sweetney | October 4, 2007 01:16 PM

TB

Just keep going. Nothing lasts forever. You will get through.
Sending strength and peace.

Posted by TB | October 4, 2007 06:41 PM

Me

You are not alone...you are never alone...It may feel awful, but look around, you have friends, family, mostly your kids that want you to smile...let yourself do that..smile and breathe..be happy...
It's a cheesy comment but here it goes...
" It takes two to tango..never has a relationship fallen apart because of just one person."
Remember that Jess...and I'm here for a shoulder or giggle.

Posted by Me | October 4, 2007 09:23 PM

Leanne

(((Hugs))) to you.

Posted by Leanne | October 5, 2007 01:24 PM

jarodman

Going out somewhere with friends is just as much lot of fun, as coming to this website. Always has something to laugh at, a lot of things to share with each other, and it’s much easier to make friends here, than anyone would think! I come to this website when I have problems, and always leave it in a good mood. It really helps a lot!

Posted by jarodman | April 3, 2008 04:00 AM

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