ruby red

And there's nothing in life that can't be undone, one way or the other, when it comes right down to it. There's no telling what the future holds.

Ugh, the splitting up of things! That was really the worst—all the symbolic acts that have to accompany the parting.

But the truth is that you will still be friends, you will still coparent. It's just the form of living/sleeping together that has changed. The content of love still remains and it's wonderful that you see that. When you see that and live it, there is no failure.

Hard to feel isolated in a place that felt like home. Everything in it's own time....it will all come in time. And the kids? They are ok...really they are. Healthy and happy and gorgeous as always. And you getting healthier and happier....that will help them more then you know.

I live in a small town so I know what you mean.

I have stopped myself from commenting for soooo long, but I can't help myself any longer. I just don't get why you guys split. You love him, he loves you, the kids *need* an intact family. What have I missed? You say it's best for *you* but what about everyone else in the family you helped create? I read your every post and just don't see the "why" of it all. If it's hard both ways (in and out of the marriage / relationship), why not work on keeping the marriage and the family together? Keeping the kids with BOTH mom and dad--all together.

BTW readers, please don't flame me because my comment isn't an "atta girl, Jess." It's a blog on the internet with Commenting open and available to all. This situation troubles me, that's all.

Other Debbie-

It's not the lack of "atta girl" that makes me giggle at your post, it's the old school way of thinking that a family should stay together even if one of the spouses doesn't want to. Just seems like an old way of thinking that has been shown to do more harm than good.

To each their own though.

I so wish my parents had not stayed together for me. They did me no favors.

Debby, I think what Debbie is saying is that there seems to be room to work out the marriage - not that a family should stay together even if one of the spouses doesn't want to. I think she's saying that if both spouses care about each other still, that there still could be room to save the relationship.

I think what is most important to remember in any blog is that it is a small picture of a life. It's by no means the entire life.

It's hard, as a reader not to think you are seeing the entire story because it seems to us on the outside that Jess has been so open - but, like all blogs and all humans, she has some things she has probably not mentioned and even thought it is on the internet, we cannot make a judgment until we have walked a mile in her actual shoes, not her online slippers.

Leave that town silly bum!

AND come be my neighbor on the northshore!!!

(Miss you & wish you were closer, cookie!!!)

I found it annoying/funny that my old coffee morning girl neighbours would watch their men like a hawk once I seperated from my husband. And the state of them! I mean pot bellies,touching 40,distressed middle management types.(eh..the husbands not their wives)My kids were REALLY angry about it, but accept it now and are happy, well balanced and mature.. I still get that lurch in my stomach when I hear them say to their friends they are going to 'dads' or they watch such and such at their dads and I'm sad that they didn't get the whole happy family package. It's sad not to grow old with the person you chose, and who chose you too. Life though, drags you down. lack of sleep, time, money all factor in. Depression though affects not only your moods, but also the whole perception of your life. I think it takes a year-even with meds to truly, truly get over a major meltdown.Well,maybe I heal slow!! Be gentle on yourself. Nothing is done that can be undone-jess.Nothing.xxx

As a child of divorce, I believe it can be done. You will have a new normal. It will take time, but they can adjust.

As for the small town thing, well, I would think people would have a bit of tact and realize that these things happen.