in the still of the night

Surely Shane could pick up medicine. You sound pretty good for me. This is certainly a huge change that won't be without challenges and fear. I would be scared too, and it is probably the easiest emotion to capture right now.

xo

Even though Shane doesn't want to see you, and even though it may be painful for a long time for both of you, I'm sure he would want you to call him for help when one of the kids is sick!

Just because you can't make a marriage work, doesn't mean you can't be friends. It's true. You both love those children.

Make your own definition of your relationship -- it doesn't have to fit anybody else's picture of how things should be.

keep your chin up, Jess. this is the hard part. it'll get better. lots of people out here are rooting for you, even if people in your neighborhood are still a little weird about it.

And believe me, you'll learn to stock up on Tylenol and to not run out of things! Your habits will change and you'll rise to the occasion.

Jess-Please remind me, how old is Tristan? I don't know the laws in Canada, but here in the U.S., children can start babysitting at age 12. Could you teach her fire safety, how to call 9-1-1, to never answer the door or phone if you aren't there, etc.? Then you could at least run to the store for medicine in an emergency. I've left Ryan in charge of Kaitlyn and Nathan, and yes I was nervous the whole time I was gone, but sometimes it really is an emergency.

And Shane might not want to see you, but he should still be willing to do anything for the kids, including picking up Tylenol and bringing it over. I'm sure it's hard, but parenting is parenting, no matter where the parent lives. Right? Big hugs, sweetie. You're doing fine.

Jess-Please remind me, how old is Tristan? I don't know the laws in Canada, but here in the U.S., children can start babysitting at age 12. Could you teach her fire safety, how to call 9-1-1, to never answer the door or phone if you aren't there, etc.? Then you could at least run to the store for medicine in an emergency. I've left Ryan in charge of Kaitlyn and Nathan, and yes I was nervous the whole time I was gone, but sometimes it really is an emergency.

And Shane might not want to see you, but he should still be willing to do anything for the kids, including picking up Tylenol and bringing it over. I'm sure it's hard, but parenting is parenting, no matter where the parent lives. Right? Big hugs, sweetie. You're doing fine.

I've been there. Single mom, kids ages 5, 4, and 2, and they all had chicken pox, but not all at once, no, all in a row, each 2 weeks apart, taking us out of commission for a month and a half... and the 4 year old was last, and had the worst case her doctor had ever seen, with complications, a staph infection, and she was in so much pain... and I ran out of Tylenol. And I tried everyone I knew who was close, and I called my so-called boyfriend at the time, and he said he'd come bring some Tylenol, and he never showed up, and when he called again and I hung up the phone on him, he... punished me.

I hope you called Shane, or someone. I know you have people nearby who care.

And keep in mind, it won't be too much longer before your oldest is able to watch at least one of the littler ones for a short time while you run to the store. And things will get easier as time goes on.

Many hugs. You are not alone.

My birthday in a few days, too. Are we close? Same day? I'm home with a sick kid today, too. Thinking of you.

I'm sad for you. I doubt you want pity, but I am sad. I have been a lurker reader and have all but abandoned my own blog, but searched yours out tonight wondering how you were. I haven't read all the details but I see the BIG white elephant in the room.
HUgs and motherly understanding from your neighbour on the Sunshine Coast.
May peace find you.

I'd be scared. Hell, I was scared.

When you feel how alone you are, remember that there are some of us out there thinking of you and not judging, just pulling for you.

You're going to be ok. It will be ok. You're doing a good job.

Ah Jess.....wishing you a Happy Birthday. You know what would be a good plan? Shoes....shoe shopping...and a new haircut. I know both of those make you feel better. If I were there I'd take you myself. I know it feels like you are alone right now, but do remember that we all care for you.