The journey i am on has been such an interesting one. My life has taken so many twists in the past year. Being alone a few nights a week has been difficult. Difficult and inspiring.
I often wander around a little lost. Listen to music. Flip through channels. Will my computer to let me look at a few blogs. Or twitter. Then it fails me. I dance. I sing. I do laundry. I read books.
I think. Most of the things i wander around in the night doing are distractions from actually sitting down and thinking. Reflecting on this journey.
But i am thinking. Marvelling at how far i have come in the past few months.
Three months ago i was sitting on the edge. Letting life slip through my fingers.
A revelation in a hospital bed. Straightening up. Seeing clearly the path of destruction behind me. Looking in the bright eyes of my children. Seeing a future that was different. A future where i could be strong. I could be a woman they would be proud to know as adults.
They may be angry with me now. They may always be angry with me. But, i am here to be angry at. I am stronger. I am putting in the fight for life. The fight for a better life for me, which means a better life for them.
Posted by Jess at 08:36 AM Permalink
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Jess - I read your blog every day, and I'm so proud of you and the mother you are being to your children. I've been through complete devastation and depression before, too, and while I don't have children yet, I hope I can try to honor them as well as you have. I admire you. Good luck!
Posted by Jen | October 13, 2007 01:57 PM