no matter what words i say - i will always love you

Use this portion of the roller coaster for good.

Ride it for what it's worth.

Knowledge of the event is huge, so trust in those you touch daily. Trust in yourself. And as always, grasp help wherever available.

Help is a good thing.

Hang in there Jess! Know that I am sending calm thoughts your way. We will be here to listen when you need us!

I sit in the dark (and quiet if you can find it) and do really deep breathing. Force myself. It take a bit of the edge off. I also have emergency sedatives, but it is a fine balance of up and down. I am sorry hun'.

Oh Jess...mania is never fun. What works for me when possible....exercise, tennis is a good one... a whole lot of running involved, seems to help with the endless reserves of energy, the need to be on the go all the time. Watch yourself for danger signs...spending, irrational behaviour (I tend to want to get tattoo's and piercings, and disappear in the wee hours of the night to go exploring and discover new and wonderful sights, oh and I always want to fly when manic... hang gliding). The fact that you are aware that you are slipping into a manic phase is believe it or not a very very good sign. If you weren't...that would be another matter altogether. Seeing the psychiatrist next week is a very good idea....in the meantime, as horrid as it is, it may be a good idea to lean on Shane a bit more....a second set of eyes in times of manic phases are extremely helpful.

Bear with the panic attacks if you can...I know how awful and debilitating they can be.

Sending you all my love, and if you ever need anything, you should give me a call....sometimes a voice on the other end of a phone can help.

Goshitsoundsawful.
Stay busy? Run? Yoga?
I don't know -
but I'll be thinking of you.

Hang in there, jess. Try to make the energy productive in some way rather than destructive. My biggest well wishes to you, I'm sure it's all so hard.

Hoping you get through this Jess. I'm glad that you are getting help, I wish I could do something too.

god, mama. I am here if you need to talk. anytime, I will listen to the mania and maybe talk through it with you.

I hear you. I have posted before, and try to look at my own advice to you, and try to follow it. I feel like I am at the bottom of a big black pit. I feel like my life is over. I am a complete and utter failure, a fake, and not really worthy of anything. But you are. I never had kids because I did not want to be a bad mother and fuck up other human beings lives. But there is a level of sadness there. Maybe I would have not been so bad?

I have a great job, and good family, so why do I feel so shitty? I hope things get better for you. My plans are to talk to my doctor and get on another anti depressant. I have been trying to avoid it. He likes to give me paxil which seems to throw me into panic attacks. I did not mean to make this about me, but, I just wanted to let you know, I have some idea of how you feel. Get better, and I will try to as well.

You're seeing your shrink next week - does that now mean this week starting tomorrow? Early in the week? As in Monday? Because it strikes me this is the time you call your shrink and say I have to see you immediately. As in, channel Woody Allen and do as he seems to do in every one of his films.
I can really talk as I have been known to be in a similar state and when the earliest appt is in a month's time I lamely say, 'ok' and then spend the next few weeks thinking 'm holding together while in hindsight I can see how much I destroyed.
Suckful. That's what it is. Suckful. I hope you've got through the weekend and the appt is early in the week.
Thinking of you.
xK
(finally delurking)

Jess, hang in there. Do what you need to do for yourself in order to get help. I'm thinking of you.

thinking of you honey
xoxoxo

Feel better. Thinking of you.

I hope you can get in really soon...this is not the kind of thing that waits well. You're in my prayers.

Thinking of you, crying for you, smiling for you. You will get thru this.

My thoughts are with you, Jess. I'll be thinking about you throughout the week.