more with the questions

May I ask more - I haven't read all of your blog - but can you tell me about your extended family and in-laws. What are they like? Do they love close-by? Who is your favourite person in the world (apart from hubby and kids) - and why?

My in-laws live about two hours away by car and ferry. They are amazing and supportive. Grandma babysits regularly.

My family lives about five hours away by car and ferry. They too are amazing. I don't talk about them out of a shared agreement.

My favourite person in the world is my pal christle. She is one of those amazing women who are caring, empathetic, funny, fun to be around, understanding and an awesome parent. She is even the guardian of my kids. She is my only real and honest friend around here.

What is it that you think will help your depression if you don't believe in therapy, pills. Do you think the depression will go away on its own or that you'll learn to live with it?

I think honesty will help me. I don't like therapists because they try to fit me into a mold. It's like the educational system that is taught on a median. It works for most of the kids. I am not like other people and all the talk in the world won't make me open up to a complete stranger. That takes years.

I am still on medication.

I don't think it will go away on it's own - well it could. But, i am working hard to improve the life around me. How i see and hear the world. My expectations. Everything. I am in no way leaning back hoping for help to come to me. I have a lot to live for. I want to live for. I am going to be better.

I am off like a dirty shirt at 5am tomorrow and due to arrive in Chicago around 7pm. Regularly scheduled navel gazing will be interrupted by gossip and snap judgments based solely on appearance.