heart on my sleeve

I think you'd be surprised at how many people feel the way you do...
I'd like to convince you to go -
I'd like to meet you.

that's still amazing to me, that you felt that way on the inside. on the outside, you were gorgeous, competent, punctual (!), sassy, friendly, funny. you made it look easy.

I, on the other hand: car crash in a brown t-shirt.

i obviously won't be going this year but I do hope you make it.

I wish I were going so I could be there for/with you. I so loved your company last summer.

But it's not in the cards for us right now. We're too busy moving out of state, etc.

XO

I'm amazed. I thought I was the only one who went home a ball of nerves and a disaster of an inner psyche. (Supa, you looked cool, calm and collected) as did you, darling Jess.

I'm so torn on this. I'd love a second chance. I'd love to latch on, this go 'round to people who have confessed how nervous they were last year and let go of all of my neurosis. I don't know if I can justify the cost when I might come home in a coma.

Just a tip on the passport thing. We sent Jack's off over two and a half months ago and still haven't recieved it. So Piers took a day off work and stood in line at the Victoria office (I know that's far for you, but maybe doable?) and they rushed a new one at no extra cost and cancelled the one in process. The line was long and it took him about 4 hours, but we got it a week later (Jack and I are leaving on Saturday so thank goodness).
I also feel like I am an anxiety ridden social fool, but have been told by friends that I seem so relaxed and easy going (HA!) around new people. I think my own angst over myself has totally warped my view on how other perceive me.
Wow that was a long comment. Good luck, with everything.

Jess, please don´t take it personally, but try to remember what you loved about blogher in the minimum details, write about it, be very specific, and keep on going. You must try to remember some pretty good stuff as if reliving it. I just think that whenever we are sad/depressed, we tend to erase the feelings of all the good stuff that went around and just feel the bad stuff (even if we remember there were good things happening, they feel more like it happenend to someone else - but it happened to you!). Make yourself remember the good stuff, even if it starts from a very tiny cup of good coffee, and WRITE IT DOWN. Don´t let yourself write anything negative for this. Just write about the good feelings. It may empower you a lot.

I know that your own perception of yourself is really what matters, but like me, you're your own worst critic. I thought you were lovely at BlogHer and if I remember correctly that was BEFORE we started drinking ;o)
I hope if you go, you find that it's a bit easier this year now that you know what to expect.

When I applied for my passport I did the application on-line (as opposed to handwritten or mail in). I printed off the completed application and took it to the passport office prepared to stand in line all day. Because I had applied on-line I was sent to the front of the line and I was in and out in 10 minutes while 100+ other people waited. No word of a lie. This was in February and I was going on vacation in about 30 days. I put my departure date on the application and got it back in 10 business days (paid $10 extra for the guarantee). I had never been so happy that my computer addiction had finally paid off!

Good luck!

Karen

Ah yes, I woke up this morning thinking, "it did cost extra!", but Karen has right, and the ten bucks is well worth it.

When I became a journalist I thought I was the only shy one. That private interview room we had in the Martlet office did not exist in the community news world and I thought OMG other people are going to HEAR me interview people? All the time? I nearly died. It was years before I told people how shy I was and I found out that most of my co-workers AND many of the people we knew in the student press are shy shy shy as well. Some are famous now and still sweat before interviews.

And all that walking into big rooms of people and taking pictures and doing interviews does not prepare you for walking into a small gathering of, say, 10 people and you know 2. And then the 2 people you know are used to the "other you" and think you are not having fun because you're quiet quiet quiet! And yet other people never seem to see the shy part even when it's at its peak.

I admire you, I would be terrified to go to BlogHer! But go, go, go...it sounds like everyone else feels the same way as you. As everyone says, you always seemed confident and unstoppable to me. Even in class 15 years ago or whatever. You know those people you look at and think "she's so cool, I want to BE her"? That was you for me.

Oh, you must go! I remember having a wonderful time with you last year. And you seemed a lot more confident than me! :)

Well, I have to tell you that even the fact that you are considering going makes you WAY braver than me. I won't even consider it, 'cause I'm too chicken, and would sit inside my hotel room FREAKING-THE-HELL-OUT....that would be if I was even able to make it to the plane. Nope! The fact that you are considering and even planning to go make you a hero in my books!

I wish that I was going :)

I was really looking forward to going and meeting you, but now I'm likely not going. Double poop.

It is a brave thing to go for some of us bloggers. It's like coming out of the blogging closet every year, I'm sure.

Your perception of yourself sounds strangely like the way I see myself. Too many people love you for your views to be completely true. Still...these are all reasons why I won't go to Blogher. I'm afraid it will be like high school all over again.

I know how you feel, and it's primarily the reason I don't go to those things. I'm okay once I'm in my groove, but it's tough relaxing and having a good time.

I bet you didn't know that I was a nervous wreck at Blogher last year! You know what helped? My roommate made us Gin and Tonics in our room on Friday afternoon during the break, and I went to the second session feeling much more mellow.

I am reminding you again of my PROMISE that I will TAKE CARE OF YOU at Blogher. I will not leave you alone in a corner, I promise. I think a weekend of socializing with other women who "get" you is just what you need. You need a weekend of people hugging you and exchanging business cards with you to remind you that you are MORE than a Mom and a wife, you are a PERSON.