Dear Mum

A day late as usual. I hope you notice i spelt mum the way you like it. I never really understood why you spelled it that way until i heard you explaining it to Eliza. The soft "u." And you are a soft you. I love you.

I wanted to tell you i'm sorry. Having a daughter who clings to my legs constantly has made me realize how hard it was for you having me cling to you as a child. It was only because i adored you. Worshipped every moment with you. When you went out to work i was sad to see you go.

As a grown up with four children of my own i admire you for all you did. I hope that i can be half as motivated and determined as you were as a young mother. Everything you did, you did so well. Whether building a playground at the school, volunteering to coach the track team, teaching preschool, selling real estate - you did it all with gusto and success. I am proud of you.

I am also sorry for the years 1985-1987, 1994 and the past six months. I know you worry about me. I know you don't know how to help. But, rest assured, you are helping. Checking in on the phone.

Most importantly you should know that how i feel is no reflection on you. I am who i am, who i have always been. I will be okay.

I love you. Happy Mother's Day.