When i was released from the psych ward at the hospital my doctor told me of two stories.
The short long road. And the Long Short road.
He told me he was giving me the short long road. Meaning he's was giving me the short road in the hospital as long as i promised to follow the long road to recovery. He said there was no shortcuts, no dead-ends and no cul-de-sacs.
I have one chance.
And then the long short road.
"You see these people you've made friends with?" he asked me.
"they have been here a long time."
"there is no way out for them."
"When we let them out the short road leads right back here. Or death."
"do you understand? this is your chance. i left you here for five days without privileges for a reason. have you learned that reason?"
I guess i did. There was a man i met. He was bi-polar and committed to starting his life again. He went out every single day for 5km walks with the activity coordinator, then he was driven to the gym. He would work out for 1/2 an hour and then come back for dinner. I would watch them. All the people allowed to leave walking up and down the sunny street to the hospital. This man i met, his medication made it impossible for him to sweat. So he had to watch his exertion and his fluids. On friday he went to the gym and passed out. His heart rate was nearing 180 BPM. He was brought back by ambulance. Taken care of somehow, and brought back to the ward.
He paced the halls for hours.
A funny aside about him was that everything was confidential.
"Where do you live?"
"Confidential."
"What gym do you go to?"
"Confidential."
"What's your real name?"
"Confidential."
Anyway, he was all set to go home on his first overnight stay in preparation for release from the hospital sometime in the confidential future. He was very worried. Because of the gym incident. But he paced. And he paced. And then he packed his bag and he left after dinner.
He never came back. He killed himself at home that night.
Posted by Jess at 10:33 PM Permalink


Subscribe RSS
I know you can be okay. (And only JUST okay. Hell, aren't most of us JUST okay?)
I'm hopeful.
Posted by blackbird | April 4, 2007 04:31 AM