i keep asking

i'd do it for you if i could. and you'd do it for me, too. i don't think you are broken, jess. i think that you feel things that most people ignore and it's a very hard way to be. you are going to make it. you've got so much good stuff on the other side. hold onto that.
xoxoxoxo

It's so hard to get past wanting to be saved. I sit here and wish every day that "the work" would just magically be done for me too. I do keep holding onto the fact that the other side really does rock and I'll be joining it when it's ready for me to be there. You will too.

Like many other I wish could save you!

I know it's tiring, but you are treading the water, still, so to speak, you are not going under. That is an accomplishment in itself! Please give yourself credit for that!

I'm sorry to say this.....but I just have to. Do you ever just thank God that you don't have a terminal disease? You aren't dying. Your children aren't dying. You have a home. You have food to eat. Things could be a hell of a lot worse. Remember that and try to enjoy your life. Many people would kill to have what you have.

Oh, sweetheart. I am sorry you are in so much pain. The truth is, though, as liz says up there, it helps to get over believing that you can be rescued. The only way out is through. Do the work — it gets easier as you go along.

Like starting to clean a hugely, grossly messy house, the starting and initial phases that are the worst. Once you begin to see results, you get into it.

I'm rooting for you, love.

I think this is what all adults want, deep down. That's why "Calgon, take me away" became something people said.

You need to get out of the house, girl! And I mean go! Do some volunteer work, take a part time job, and pay someone to sit with the children and do dishes a couple nights a week.

You find more peace in trying to save the world, than you will find in waiting for the world to save you :)

That's your magic carpet! And it will return you more empowered, more whole and more capable of good parenting.

I am a single, working mother of two young boys. I'm dedicated and engaged. I know the friends, the appointments and I volunteer as a den mother for my son's Cub Scout pack.

I know many stay-at-home mothers that are bitter and spent, and don't have much to offer their children, even if they are at home 24/7.

Jess, if you go away on the magic carpet, it won't be the same when you get back. It just won't.
The rest of the world, and even your family, will go on changing.
And you don't want to miss that.
Stick around.
It's harder in the short run, but works better in the long run.

Uhhhh......Who is "Denise?"

I can identify. I'm tired of being broken, too. Just so tired of it. Can I just quit that? Just declare myself All Better and be *done* with the brokenness, already?

I like some of the concepts from DBT:

I'm fine as I am.
I always do the best I can.
AND
I need to change.
I need to do better.

I'm not responsible for the ways I am broken.
This is not my fault, I didn't cause it.
AND
I, and only I, am responsible for dealing with it, and fixing it.
I am the only one who can.

I have no magic carpet, I can't make time stand still, and I can't unbreak you. But if you ever just want a change of scenery for a weekend -- and that can be wonderfully healing, sometimes -- you're welcome to come visit me in Seattle.

-- Angi

I think if someone has not experienced honest to goodness depression first hand, they just aren't going to get it. Don't expect them to. Work hard, get better, try to have a good life. Do it for yourself, your family and no one else.

I know a lot of commenters are thinking they mean well, Jess, but I know it hurts to hear "snap out of it". As if you wouldn't if you could.

The road back is touch and it sucks shit, but you're doing it and we love you for it.

I gave you a little award the other day. You don't have to acknowledge it, but I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

I've been reading your blog for a while and I feel for you. I too am just done. I am not superwoman and I cannot do it all. My house is a wreck, I hardly see my kids or husband. I work full time and I am to the point I can't just do it all any more. Hang in there.

come visit me jess!

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