Big Love

I'm tired of talking about me. That's my face, taken on my cellphone, after too many hours of "tell me about..."

Instead i will tell you about my beautiful children.

Spring break is happening. Tristan and Toby just returned from a fun-filled trip to saltspring. Parker, eliza and i went swimming before we picked them up. I sat back in the freakishly warm kiddy pool and watched them show me all their new tricks. Their pride in blowing bubbles out their noses or the fact that they can touch the bottom almost all the way from one end to another.

We went out for a lunchtogether afterward and sat three in a row in a booth. Me in the middle. We coloured, played tic-tac-toe and giggled at parker's potty jokes. We shared some salad and pasta and garlic bread and headed off to the ferry to pick-up the two big ones.

Often when tristan and toby go i am comforted by the fact that they are in loving hands and having fun. This time i really missed them. When they left sunday morning my eyes were red, raw and puffy. I knew they noticed. Tristan called several times with just a "Hi mom" on the other end of the line. Her way of checking in.

They raced off the ferry, running straight into my arms. Leaving grandma running behind with their suitcases and bags full of artwork. It was a moment of joy. Just like a movie. But so real. I have never been so in love with them. I have never needed them more.

Tonight i lingered by their beds as shane put parker to bed. Toby asked "so mom, what did you do while we were away?" I just sighed and told him i had seen a lot of doctors. I leaned in and whispered i loved him in his ear, that he was my very favourite oldest son, that i was proud of him and happy to have him home.

"Right back at you mom."