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February 01, 2007

good days, bad days

Are you bored of me yet? I am getting bored of me. Judging from the ups and downs of my subscribers you all are getting bored of me too.

But ha-ha! I am still struggling. Not through with all of this yet.

I had an exciting phone call tonight. A call which requires me being out in the evening (again) writing some kind of proposal. So elusive. It's not really worth spilling about here.

I enjoyed writing the minutia of my day yesterday. Amazed at how the day just kept going and going with barely a moment to relax.

I feel like i'm driving without a license. I don't know what i am doing, where i am going or how to parallel park when i want to stop and smell the flowers. Life is just a continuing round of new jobs/chores/activities every ten minutes. I'm sure if i went to bed when the commotion of the day stopped i would be a little happier. Not left to sit and ponder. But then i wouldn't see the beautiful moon that is happening.

Tomorrow i am going skating on a pond in a friends yard in the midnight full moon glow.

Posted by Jess at 08:20 PM Permalink

Comments (15)

denise

I'm not sick of you lol. I have just been busy with Camerons specialists and appts etc.

Posted by denise | February 2, 2007 03:58 AM

blackbird

not
bored.

Posted by blackbird | February 2, 2007 04:15 AM

Ice skating at night on a real pond sounds so lovely and idyllic. I hope you have a fabulous time and that it feeds your soul.

Posted by TB | February 2, 2007 04:26 AM

Donna

Nope. I may often be bored with ME, but never bored with you!

Posted by Donna | February 2, 2007 08:29 AM

Renee

No, of course not. We keep coming back, don't we?
Skating sounds nice.

Posted by Renee | February 2, 2007 12:59 PM

Chair

Bored? Of you?!

NEVER

I really enjoyed your minute-by-minute day, too.

:^)

Posted by Chair | February 2, 2007 01:50 PM

kim

SO not bored. Your life sounds a lot like mine. And I totally get it.

Posted by kim | February 3, 2007 12:30 AM

lelly

i've been checking up on you every day.
i get it, too.

Posted by lelly | February 3, 2007 07:06 AM

jenijen

hi you

hope you had a wonderful time skating. it sounds so romantic and magic.

xoxoxoxo

Posted by jenijen | February 3, 2007 11:12 AM

summer

I'm here, too.

Posted by summer | February 3, 2007 08:11 PM

Sharon

Ok, Jess, I've wanted to say this for a while. You have all this amazing support from your readers, but who challenges you? Who says, "Why do you find ways to blame yourself for doing natural things, for example, pulling away from someone who BIT you?" I see you as this amazing person and mom who just LOOKS for ways to cause herself pain and blame herself for everything. I'm probably not telling you something you don't already know, but life is life and its not all your fault. When you act like it is, you become a victim to yourself and all the random things that happen in our life. Its hard to read you blaming yourself and experiencing the resulting depression, etc. when its just life - shit happens, kids bite, you pull back and their tooth breaks. You didn't do anything wrong, but it seems like you are always seeking some way to feel bad and/or be the victim. I hope someday you can stop doing that. You are teaching your kids these lessons every day, even if you think your hiding it. Its ok if you don't want to hear this or want to block my comments. Support comes in different disguises.

Posted by Sharon | February 4, 2007 07:51 PM

Sharon

Ok, Jess, I've wanted to say this for a while. You have all this amazing support from your readers, but who challenges you? Who says, "Why do you find ways to blame yourself for doing natural things, for example, pulling away from someone who BIT you?" I see you as this amazing person and mom who just LOOKS for ways to cause herself pain and blame herself for everything. I'm probably not telling you something you don't already know, but life is life and its not all your fault. When you act like it is, you become a victim to yourself and all the random things that happen in our life. Its hard to read you blaming yourself and experiencing the resulting depression, etc. when its just life - shit happens, kids bite, you pull back and their tooth breaks. You didn't do anything wrong, but it seems like you are always seeking some way to feel bad and/or be the victim. I hope someday you can stop doing that. You are teaching your kids these lessons every day, even if you think you're not showing this side of yourself to them. Its ok if you don't want to hear this or want to block my comments. Support comes in different disguises.

Posted by Sharon | February 4, 2007 07:52 PM

ade

Not bored, lovely Jess...I've been away...and then catching up from being away...sigh.

PS. I had a laundry day like yours and I live alone!!!

Posted by ade | February 7, 2007 09:46 AM

Markwrwjg

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Posted by Markwrwjg | August 22, 2007 10:42 PM

Markwrwjg

http://safekwm.iquebec.com/

Posted by Markwrwjg | August 22, 2007 10:42 PM