we've both been very brave

So don't go, Jess! Really, truly don't go if you don't think it's the right time. On the other hand, I do think it's amusing that you'll be 60 miles from us, when for the longest time I was so amused that we both lived on islands, but at opposite ends of the continent. Do what feels best for you- that's my two cents. Miami is REALLY far away!

Oh, Jess. What will you do? Doesn't Shane know you feel this way?

More questions, I know. So sorry. I have them all the time about you. I worry.

I'm so sorry to hear that it was going to Blogher that started your depression. I feel so deeply for you, and I barely know you. But it seems like your doctor isn't really paying enough attention to how you are really feeling.

As for being sad for all the things you are not, that is very common. I have quite a list of them myself. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone, at least in spirit. Hugs, honey.

I am realizing lately that the serenity prayer (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.") is one of the most profound things ever written. It sums up the human condition in just a few words.

I started getting happier when I realized how many resentments I had for things just being the way they are. I carried a huge weight of anger for how shitty everything was, but I didn't want to do anything to change the shittiness. Not everything can be changed, but it can be forgiven for being the way it is.

I hope that makes some tiny rambling bit of sense.

If you're afraid that the trip would be detrimental, there's nothing wrong with canceling it. Though being alone with someone who loves you so much may be a blessing, something that might be surprising in being therapeutic. But if you're worried about going doing more harm than good, it's okay to say no.

So don't go. Will that worry Shane? Surprise him? You're in the midst of a big transition. From babyhood and always on as Mom to on the cusp of having to define yourself outside that. Shit that's hard! The last thing you need is another pressure.

Hey,

You seem to have the life that have been craving (literally praying to God every single day of my life for it) for...kids, pets, beautiful house in the suburbs.. but to see you this unhappy despite it all makes me ... disilusioned and question my dreams!

Pl cheer up
Lots of love and wishes and hugs

I'm saddened by the commentor above me. Please dont feel disillusioned. What Jess is going through is a chemical and nuerological problem. It hs nothing to do with the life style she lives. Minal you can have your dream life and be happy. I'm sure Jess will tell you to continue to dream too.

Jess, I know I dont comment here often but I think of you all the time. Take care of yourself and just dont go on this trip if you dont want to. Hugs.