do you realize life goes by so fast

Oh Jess...I just can't let you blame yourself for this one. I have an almost 3 year old son. Darling and sweet, but also a rascally little troublemaker. Listen - ANYONE would push someone away if they were biting them. Even their 3 year old son. It was an unfortunate accident that couldn't have come at a worse time. But still - it was an accident. You're a wonderful Mom. Your children are so lucky to have you. You're real, and breakable, and incredibly strong. Most of all you adore them to the moon and back. Remember - the little sucker was BITING YOU HARD ENOUGH TO LOSE A TOOTH!!!! Of course you pushed him away!!!

Sweetie-he, cute and three-year-old perfect and all, but at the same time at that horror show age of three,(LOL) was BITING YOUR LEG!It is not our job as parents to smile calmly through that sort of thing in a saintly manner!It was one of those cosmic pieces of bad luck that it was during a family visit. But no one is dead: BOTH my beautiful boys spent several YEARS, aged three to seven- with no front teeth- one:over-the-bike-handle-bars;, one running upstairs and tripping- teeth hitting the edge of the stair. And K., my grandson has carried on the tradition by breaking a front tooth diagonally at age 1 and a half!It was bound to happen at some point-too bad about the CRAPPY timing. And hooray for you for letting youself get taken care off, too!

Fuck.

As well meaning as everyone is and as completely normal of a reaction you had, you now have a reminder of this time - Parker crying, the family there and Shane being angry - with the broken tooth.

Fuck.
That fucking sucks.

I would have done the same in your shoes - pushed him away. I would also feel like a shitty mother - no matter how much my logical brain tells me I'm a good one.

I think you're a good mother, Jess. I know we've never met, but I really do think you are a good mother.

My oldest son used to bite me in the stomach. My flabby, fleshy belly. It hurt like hell and bruised every time. I pushed him away on more than one occasion. It's a natural reaction... it's not your fault. It sucks that it happened and it really sucks that it happened the way it did.

Ditto ditto ditto on the "Jess is a good mother" comments...((you))

Pushed him away?
Everyone can think what they like: I think I would have hit him or at least grabbed him hard and removed him.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I really never comment here - never feel I can say enough or that I'll say the right things...

Jess, it's just not possible to NOT react that way when your child bites you. I remember many times of being bitten and doing various kinds of pushing, shoving, yelping and even throwing!

Yes, you feel guilty, but it's a reflex, and unless you know it's coming you can't help it. It's happened to all of us, but it's a baby tooth and you musn't allow yourself to dwell on this.

This is why I don't have kids. I wouldn't have had the restraint to keep from knocking him across the room. You shouldn't feel bad. Your central nervous system is designed to keep you from getting bit. The fact that you feel bad about this for a second shows that you're a good mom who cares about her kids.

he was biting you hard enough to dig through your pants and you're upset that you pushed him away?

jess, you may be a super mom, but you're also (gasp!) a human.

please don't lose sleep over this. you didn't do anything wrong.

I always say, shit happens, especially with little children. Don't worry about it, you are not a bad mother but I understand how those feelings come up.

Heck, he's gonna lose those baby teeth anyways ;-)

Oh babe...THAT had NOTHING to do with your 'condition' and was a total automatic reaction to SEVERE pain..no matter the source!

And it is a baby tooth.....

Hugs to you and to him!

You showed more restraint than I would have, the one time my daughter did that, I pushed her away then promptly picked her up and spanked her. Not the best time for spanking, when you are hurting and there wasn't a tooth in my leg either. Hang in there...Family visits can be so stressful, especially in times of fragile mental health, been there, still do it.

You can't expect that THAT would happen when pushing away your kid. You're not a bad mom! Poor guy though! I'm sure that hurt! Will he have to go to the dentist?

You didn't make a mistake by pushing him away. Kids need to learn that biting is not okay.

The only mistake I see (and let me just say that it's one I'm sure I've made, too) is following your son into the kitchen after he's proclaimed your dinner gross and stalked off in a huff. Natural consequences would call for you to leave him alone, AND not let him return unless he apologized.

I can't imagine anyone standing there and letting someone imbed a tooth in him without reacting.

Me, I know I would have smacked him hard. That is one of the 4,000 reasons I don't have kids.

Yikes! My name got attached to the wrong comment...one that talked about smacking kids and having 4,000 reasons for not having kids. (Why is she reading a Mom's blog if she doesn't want kids?!)

Anyways, that's not my comment!! (This is the first time I've ever commented in a blog...and I'm not likely to do so again if that's how well the technology works.) Alison

It happened again! Sheesh!
Alison

Oops. My bad. I just realized that the names go UNDER the related commnet -- the lines got me confused. I won't say anymore...promise! (Except that Jess, you obviously care a tremendous amount about your kids, and that makes you a great Mom!)

OH man, I'm so sorry babe, that a natural instinct put you in a place where you feel guilty. I like to think that Shane is more angry about the fact that Parker bites at all and bites you when you really don't need it.

As callous as it may be to say it, I can't help objectively thinking that I hope Parker will think twice before he bites anyone again.

I agree with those who think you showed marvelous restraint. I am so sorry it happened. Hope you're both okay now.

I think it's funny that Alison thinks that if I don't want kids, I should automatically be banned from reading/talking/writing about them.

hugs and love to you. and as others have said, i believe i would have had the same reaction. you are a super mom, supermom.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As others have said, there's just no other instinctive reaction you could have. Shane was wrong to be angry with you.

Alison, good Lord, woman! Do you have to have climbed Mt Everest to enjoy Into Thin Air? Do you have to be a serial killer to like In Cold Blood? Or a New York publishing industry type to like Devil Wears Prada?

And if not, do you reeeeeally think you have to be a mom to enjoy a well written, funny blog that often talks about children?

Wow, good thing you were wearing pants. I'm sure I'd have done the same, if not worse.

And Alison, good Lord, woman! Do you have to have climbed Mt Everest to enjoy Into Thin Air? Do you have to be a serial killer to like In Cold Blood? Or a New York publishing industry type to like Devil Wears Prada?

And if not, do you reeeeeally think you have to be a mom to enjoy a well written, funny blog that often talks about children?

Man (and women and children)'s first instinct is self preservation. That is what kicked in when you pushed parker off of you. Maybe a broken tooth will remind him that teeth are for biting FOOD not people!

Your husband should have been in there at the first sign of the fit - not only after it had come to it's ugly conclussion! He should not have been mad at you!

Ouch! You handled that with much more restraint than I might have. Hope you're both okay.

Poor thing.

The whole situation is awful. Both of my kids are biters too and it is HARD not to react in an automatic and self-protective way. Not that the logic behind it makes you feel any better for it.

It is called being a parent and taking control!! I have children and they only had one chance to bite me and then I bit back hard enough for them to know it hurts, just not hard enough leave a mark. And if your child is having a tantrum just WALK AWAY - all they want is your attention and they are getting it in the wrong way!! Shower with attention for good behavior not bad. If you walk away from that tantrum and let them flail on the floor all by themselves, they will realize that they are not getting what they want and stop. Kids are very smart and they know how to push your buttons - don't let them!!! YOU are the PARENT and you are the one they look to for everything. Accidents do happen, but it is real easy to stop the biting child - bite them back plain and simple. Also, if you let them walk away from the table once they will do it all them time - take control of your house and your children!!!!