lonely

The middle of the night is a difficult time to examine one's feelings...no good can come of it.
(though I DO know what you mean)

Have you seen your medical dr. at all? He ight be able to help. I don't know how you feel about medication, but it saved my life and I will happily take it for the rest of my life. I remember feeling that way alot....we're always here to hear you out.

Something is going around and I don't just think it's post-blogHer let down. I had a shitty ass week too.

Hang in there and I hope you feel better. I agree with the very wise Beth above, take whatever help you need wherever you find it.

I have felt that way myself.

But for what it's worth, your life won't always be without options and you won't always feel this way.

I don't know you that well so I hesitate to pontificate too much but there are people out here who will listen :)

I just went through this. All I can say is that I started taking medication about three weeks ago and I feel about a million times better. Having kids and being home with them all the time messes with your chemistry. It's just the way it seems to be.

I don't know if that helps you at all, but maybe just knowing that you aren't alone...

I am going throught this exact same thing, as a matter of fact I woke up this morning wishing I had my "old life" back. I just went back on Effexor and am hoping to feel better soon. Talk to you dr. it might help.

Even though we chose this life, sometimes it sucks to feel like you have no choices. Small choices - like being able to run out on your own for a bit, aren't left up to you. That's rough.

Ditto all of the above. Have been on antidepressents -- they work. Nuff said.

Also, I am NOT a nurturing woman. So sometimes I actually tell my kids not to talk or touch me. My life is overwhelming. Sometimes, all this stress really makes me feel totally alone. And I just have to feel my way through that.

I agree with Mom-101 - post blogher emotional hangover. Being a responsible adult just has its fair share of suckage.

Sometimes I feel like that Talking Heads song that says "This is not my beautiful life!"

hey. are you okay?

i'm lonely, too.

Yeah. I've been through this. And yet I remember how angry I would get when people would say "I've been through this" as though it were a condescending order to get medicine, exercise, or "snap out of it."

But I do remember what it felt like. I remember the shame, and yet the understanding that there were things out there that might help. I just didn't have the energy to find them.

And then there was that one doctor who told me "Well, I guess you aren't cut out to be a mother." What was I supposed to do? Just leave my family and children behind?

Some doctors help. They give antidepressants at appropriate doses and use a multidisciplinary approach. It is a team effort: you and them.

Other doctors over-drug, condescend, and make you feel worse than when you walked into their office initially.

I hope for peace for you. I hope for resolution. I hope for supportive people who rather than pity give you respect.

I wish I had spent more time with you at BlogHer. I absolutely loved you and wanted to take you home with me.

Now I really wish that I had so that I could give you a quiet space with no responsibilities. Just the opportunity to reflect, socialize, or choose quiet.

No advice -- I just hope you find some sort of resolution that works for you. Just because you chose something doesn't make it easy, and doesn't take away your right to vent. Good luck.

I'm so sorry you're feeling sad. But you know, you're allowed to be tired of it sometimes. You're dealing with a lot right now. Treat yourself gently.

I've felt that way myself. A lot.

Jamie will be visiting my dad for 10 days without us. I'm looking forward to the break, maybe too much. My biggest fear right now is that I won't miss her and worse, that I'll enjoy her being gone. I'm hoping that her constant demands have just been obscuring the love and fun, and the trip will refresh the good parts in my mind.

But what if it doesn't?

I'm glad you write this stuff, because if you're going through it, and I'm going through it, and your other readers are going through it, it must be normal, right?

We're rooting for you, Jess. All of us here in the computer.

I'm sad, too. All I can say is that it's a bad idea to listen to nick cave songs and drink wine because it'll make you SADDER.

gah.

I'm so glad that I got to meet you. Be gentle with yourself.

i'm sorry. sending hugs your way, because that's all i know to offer you.

Thank you so much everybody! I felt very low last night and probably should have waited to post anything. Those of you who know me, know that i have been resistant to medication. Today, i actually made a dr. appointment.

xxoo
jess

I see that the blues have been going around. I've been feeling sad, too. I hope today finds you feeling better, Jess.

I am so relieved to hear that you (and many others) experience this from time to time. I had felt so isolated and lonely and at the same time wishing to be alone - to hear my own thoughts through screaming, tantrums or just babbling. Sometimes, the very idea that I cannot just go outside and walk without kids in tow and a plan to get them in tow takes my energy away. Hang in there, I'm rooting for you.

Antidepressants help if you need them. Been on them 12 years now and have no urge to get off the magical pill that keeps me on an even keel, regardless of what my former brutal PMS used to do to me.

My sanity secret? Early bedtimes. Time that is mine and mine alone. They trot off at a reasonable time, can play in their rooms for a short while and then GO TO BED.

I am not sure about you but I am the introverted type that cannot survive without a few hours of solitude, doing whatever the heck I want.

I don't have any wise advice. I do, however, have several friends who followed the medication route and feel great. Sometimes those sad days just come and sneak up on ya...and sometimes they hang out a lot longer than they should. I hope your sadness has waned.