absolute beginners

I have been keeping myself very busy. Busy has seemed to help. School starts in one week. One week, and i'm terrified. Although in many ways this has been the summer of my undoing, it has also been the summer that was.

The summer that i left my family for the first time, the summer that i accepted my craziness and decided to do something about it. The end of summer means the beginning of the long lonely winter.

I have committed to the masters swim club and many long mornings with just parker. And, my god, have i told you lately how much i love him.

I am feeling? Better? I'm not really sure. The last time i tried to take any kind of anti-depressants i remember a distinct out of body sensation that i couldn't stand. This time, a whole new breed of drugs. After the first week, which really sucked, i am now feeling a little more like myself. A little bit foggy during the days and wide awake at night. Even when i sleep, my mind is racing with colours and thoughts. Bright spots that keep me awake all night.

I'm also a little obsessed with eating. I open the fridge at frequent intervals and can't think about eating anything. As a result my fridge is empty. My poor kids. Tonight we had refried beans and cheese on sprouted wheat tortillas. They were thrilled. I haven't been so disgusted by food since pregnancy, but even then i could keep on eating because, you know, the baby.

Anyway, i think i've entered a new stage of side effects. A little manic, yet not sad! Enjoy.