this is #400

I'm incredibly immature. Give me a call.

the secret is to practice. convince yourself that you're wonderful (we all know you are, but it doesn't count unless you think it) and deserve to be out there, and just practice.

there's nothing wrong with preferring the company of children. except they grow up. don't be like mike.

{that was a joke? ha ha? i'm so not funny...}

jess, it's up to you. you can do it if you try. if you really want to...

[[[[[hugshugshugs]]]]]

It's true, Ada is. So am I, though, which is probably why we're friends.

I've often felt the same about my family, it doesn't help that I'm the youngest and there was a 5 year gap between me and my just-elder sister while they were all 2 year apart. Things have become easier since I've grown up and matured but I still find, sometimes, that we really just don't understand each other.

And, the thing with kids, I think, is that they don't judge you. They don't allow for moments of awkward silence, they just think it's totally cool that an adult wants to get down and hang with them. Everyone is cool to small kids.

I would move to BC to be your friend. Or you could come here. We could never be apart.

Okay, that sounded more stalkerish than I wanted. You know what I mean though.

It is the same for a lot of us. It is the same for me. You just have the guts to post it. So don't feel lonely on this, Jen - whether or not this is perfectly normal, this is widespread. And sometimes feeling conscious about it makes you take a stand to try to enjoy the grown-up family a little bit more.

Jess - sorry for Jen!!

I think everyone goes thru bouts of feeling lonely and not having friends. I haven't made new friends in a long time and my old friends aren't around anymore. Just in limbo until I decide to muster up the courage to open myself up to other folks in person.

i understand that feeling very well.

in two weeks you can drink that feeling away. And get some hugs. Or hide with me under the table, whatev.

((hugs))

inadequacy and loneliness are very familiar feelings for me.

ps: you can borrow my kids anytime!

((hugs))

inadequacy and loneliness are very familiar feelings for me.

ps: you can borrow my kids anytime!

Have you ever wondered why us bloggers hang out on the internet rather than in person? I think most of us have these feelings. I have gotten better just by realizing that other people are the same way. I still have a hard hard time reaching out to people IRL...I wait for them to call me rather than calling and asking to get together. Or I email them about getting together, then they reply and I don't follow up.

I think we have too high of expectations of ourselves - that people will expect us to be the life of the party, when in reality they are just happy to have someone show up. Or that all eyes will be on us, when people are really so self-conscious that they may not even notice us there being self-conscious, too.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I understand.

Two things -- one, I saw your comment at Finslippy (sobbing? I had to run right over here!)

Second, I just trying to blog about this whole friend thing the other day. It's a tough thing to figure out. I'm more comfortable with the kiddos too.

I so can comprehend what you write.

Interested to read you are too in BC. I am in the Fraser Valley but soon will be on the island vacationing with the hubby and family. Love the island. Spend 7 years there getting and education in Victoria and soaking it all up. Then married a Vancouver FF and am banished to the affordable valley.

I too crave friends, the kind that understand my quirks and foibles. I have decided making friends in my 30's is so much more difficult. You make the 'mom' friends, the 'work' friends and occasionally the GOOD friend.

Been enjoying your blog, thank you.

Hi Jess
I also really get this and I think it's ok, really, to prefer hanging with your kids- I miss that everyday stuff now mine are out and gone-although my adult kids and stepkids-which is a bonus, since when they were little, things were very up and down with the whole "step" thingie-anyway ALL my adult "kids" are such an HUGE unexpected pleasure for me. The other stuff-the looking on and not feeling a part of things;well, I hope it isn't too discouraging to hear that I still mostly feel like this and I am 57 now.Funny, my last post was kinda along these lines -judging from these comments, on a lot of people's minds.....maybe it's the full moon or something