postage stamp world

That is hard. I worry about that as well. My family is extremely open but there is line I can't cross. If I can't say the way I feel to their face in an angry discussion (because that is how it would come across no matter how I word it on the blog) then I don't say it at all.

People tell me I open up a lot on my blog but there is so so SO much left unsaid. I don't feel I'm hiding that part of me though as I don't see blogging as a therapy. If I did, I would be in trouble.

I hope this isn't the end of your blogging. I don't tell you my experiences because I think you should follow them, it's just how I've sorted that out for my own family.

You are a good writer. There are many more than "just a few readers" I would think.

There are definitely more than a "few" readers out there. And we appreciate reading your words.

I can understand both "sides," as sometimes life is living, not talking about living it; yet other times, reflecting on life helps in the "living" portion of it. If that makes any sense, whatsoever!

I like the honesty of blogs because when I read about other people's experiences, challenges, questions, etc, I can realize that I am not alone. It is comforting, even if the connection is only through a computer screen. We can be raw without seeing the immediate reaction of someone: that is both good and bad!

There is one person sitting way down here in the point of Africa that has read your words and for once dont feel so isolated in her feelings of losing ones self in the motherhood whirlwind. You will never know how good that feels knowing that when I feel like just putting on the brakes and going back to my old life of single and carefree I am not being selfish and a bad mother but actually human.

I think this is exactly what you should tell them at blogher.
I feel very much the same way.

i hear you, jess. this blogging thing is still a mystery to me, really. i do love your writing and it would be a shame for you to stop, but i think i can understand how you feel. for me, i feel like i've entered a world i don't really fit into (i'm the worst blogger ever!), but i value the relationships i've made so much (w/you and others) that i find it hard to pull away. this whole blogging-taking-the-place-of-real-living-and-interacting-with-real-people side of it, though? uh-uh. NOT for me. i am way too touchy-feely to do all my socializing on the internet! heh. you know, i think i'm going to plan a retreat or get-together sometime (maybe next year?) for all of us to hang out. i mean, since i'm not going to blogher, and i most definitely want to meet you in person! somewhere FUN. what do you think?

so yeah, i hope you find a balance between this blogging thing and everything else.

As a mom it took me about 10 years to realize that doing the best I can, is not neccasarily doing all I could.

I can't do it all.

Who can?

So the time and attention you give to this blog may not being taking love from the family. It could be the fuel that keeps you going. This is how I feel about the blogs I just read!

When I became a mother over 10 years ago, I felt so strongly it would feed so many needs- and it did for a long, long time. Not just maternal needs, but creative and intellectual and philosphical ones. But as they have grown it's been a bit harder. I'm eating a bit of crow about what I felt about women how had feelings like that when their babies were just babies (I still don't really get them, but that's another story)My children are still my number one priority, of course, but I'm trying to branch out. It's tough. Where to? and why? Is it worth the hassels? Does it need to be? The practicalities of caring for a needy grandparent and not having a decent sitter or money for one is really adding to the turmoil...

Your feelings sound very normal to me.

As for the larger issue of your family being uncomfortable, well are they uncomfortable that you wrote about it? Or that you had the feeling in the first place? Your blog shouldn't be used as an excuse. If it is the public nature of the blog, well I don't find you indiscreet at all. Your writing is too good for that. There is nothing sloppy or sordid to your your writing style.

ugg I've gone on too long! but Hang in there!

L

JESS you are my hero. Completely. When I grow up I want to be you.

xoxox

debbie...

can I come?
can I come?
i promise to be normal!

First of all, it IS so hard when you have no other label to offer up to the label-collectors than "mother." Takes a lot of inner strength to feel that this is enough. And after all, being a hands-on mother is temporary... and then what?

I do believe that the 'and then what?' will take care of itself. Although you feel isolated, once your kids are a bit older, opportunities will begin to present themselves to you as long as you have the desire to break out a bit.

If you don't have that desire, that's fine too.

I do envy people like Dooce who seem to have family and friends who are fine with whatever she writes. I feel as though I have to censor myself a fair amount and some weeks, like this one, the feeling of being overwhelmed both at work and in life makes me feel as though the blog is just one more obligation, even though it started out as something I love dearly.

All these feelings come and go. My sense is that BlogHer will be a huge shot in the arm for you, and you'll come back feeling not only more confident, but refreshed and renewed.

And if you don't, or if even the opposite is true, all of us out here will be interested in hearing about it.

xoxo

jess, i feel like you've tackled a taboo i wasn't ready to: feeling less than in love with one's blog and blogging in general, even on the eve of blogher, which is supposed to be a giant bloggy lovefest.

conflicting emotions, man. can't ever seem to lose them.

Some parents need to work 40 hours a week, some parents need a part time job, some parents need a hobby. BUT - As both a SAH and WAH mom I strongly believe that parents (not just moms) need some ME time.

It can be something as small as a once-a-week class or as huge as a full time job but we all need something that is just for us. And it's not selfish at all.

As parents, we are teaching our children a sense of 'normal' (such that it is). We need to model healthy behaviour with regard to career, family and relationship. Kids soak up way more by example than they do by what you tell them. by taking some time for YOU (and us, via your blog), you're not taking time away from them, you're teaching them that Moms are people too.

It's all a balance and if the scale is tipped too far in any one direction, it's unhealthy.

ada! yes! i'm not terribly "normal," so i don't mind if you're not. heh.

maybe we should do it somewhere in the great white north so you canucks don't have to travel too far?? that would be fun! i'd love a to reason to go up there again.

I am totally in debbie! I'll go anywhere.