positively plump

A few weeks ago i ventured to the swimsuit store.

*gasp*

It's only taken me my entire life to muster up the nerve to make this trip.

I went into the store and made a beeline for the black bikinis. I picked out a few and headed for the change room. The sales girl told me to try one on and let her come in and feel me up a little to check for fit.

"Yeah, right."

I tried on many swimsuits and found myself bursting out of every top. The sales girl kept knocking and asking how things were going.

"Umm. Fine. I kind of need a bigger top. And more support!"

She tossed a new top over. I tried it on and it was comfy and i looked plumpy. I twisted and turned and realized that i was wearing a bra and panties. Seriously. Underwire, shoulder straps and back fasteners. A bra. But it fit. I headed glumly to the counter and was ready to plunk down $100 so that people would think i was wearing my bra and panties at the beach.

Then i saw a woman, not too different from me, waltzing around in a turquoise and brown tankini and board shorts.

"Wait! Stop! I need to try that on."

I was prepared to crawl under the door of her change room and swipe it as she pulled it off. But, they had one in my size. It fit. It was cute and it was summery. And, most importantly, not a bra and panties in disguise.

Without looking at the price "I" waltzed up to the counter and proclaimed my desire to purchase the perfect swimsuit. Did you know that swimsuits are damn expensive? They are.

Luckily our recent re-mortgage has left us with a false sense of prosperity and i charged on my freshly paid off mastercard.

I was wearing it at the beach today and my scrutinous family member who's married to a plastic surgeon said:

"Your boobs look really good for someone who nursed four kids for so long."

Score. Boobs look pretty good. I'll take that.