creative forbidden fruit

And here is the BIGGEST oxymoron of my life.
My kids, who have never seen the news, who never watched network television, who never saw a newspaper? LOVE guns.
Oldest used garden tools as guns when he was tiny - I don't even know where he saw one (I suspect my dad let him see a cowboy movie).
Middle was older, but we let him see parts of Indiana Jones.
And Youngest has been playing soldier in my yard for two weeks.
I have never purchased a toy gun for any of them and it has always distressed me.

A long time ago I read Dr. Spock (and I am sorry to go on for so long)and he was so sensible -
He said that he would not scowl and preach, that he would explain that he would not buy even a toy gun because there is too much meanness and killing in the world. He said that he would not lecture of nag, but stand back and calmly let the child know that he did not approve but would let him make his own decisions - and that the child would likely end up as thoughtful about the problems of peace as he would if the toy was banned, perhaps more so.

For lack of a better solution, I have done exactly this.

At my house? so far so good.

Yeah it could be a gun or a tank!! What the heck are those red little caps??

I think all kids love guns. Mind did too, and we also were against them.
That's an impressive thing he built; looks pretty gunnish, though.

oh man, the gun thing! i seriously think some kind of gun lust/love is hardwired into boys. i tend to ignore jack's tendency to turn everything into a gun, though he definitely knows i do not approve. he'll grow out of it. he will, won't he??

Brilliant creation by your glue-gun guy.

Okay, here's what I did about this issue. My kid, if he didn't have guns, he'd make them (like yours). And if his friends didn't have guns, he'd make guns for THEM.

I decided to say nothing about it. He had quite the arsenal. But he knew, just by being around us, that we didn't approve of cruelty and violence of any kind.

And now he's 18 and a total pacifist. I think if you have a loving household, a tolerant household, your kids will be loving and tolerant and you have nothing to worry about.

On the other hand, an intensely sensitive and politically aware friend of mine absolutely forbad her son to do gun play, with the result that he now wants to join the army. He's also 18. Now that's scary. I think it's the whole forbidden fruit thing.

Trust that you are communicating who you are and what your values are just by being his mother.

It's a funny thing. Where I grew up, guns were common - for hunting. In fact, it was normal to get into a truck equiped with gun rack and have to move your feet to avoid stepping on the bullet cases.

However, that was where the respect lay. Guns were for hunting, for food and for survival. We didn't live in the boonies, but there was an unspoken acknowledgment that guns had a certain purpose and it was necessary to respect that.

We never played with guns. Niether did my three brothers. No one in my neighbourhood did. It just wasn't a game. I've heard the same thing from other people I knew who grew up in Northern BC.

It's interesting how things change.

yeah, my sons love guns too and I just realized they've learned how to play with them by watching "Toy Story".

the space shuttle is awesome. your kid is a GENIUS.

The kid gets points for creativity though, right?

I wouldn't worry about it too much Jess. Like trains and dinky cars, this too, will pass. I hope. Or perhaps you are raising the world's future policeman or the world's greatest soldier. Who, after serving his time in the military, goes on to rule the free world when he becomes Prime Minister of Canada.

It could happen, right?

Toby's creation is pretty phenomenal, gun or no gun. I remember sitting in the hospital having just had my baby girl, watching this PBS Frontline special on Boys. It was so fascinating. A kindergarten class was debating whether or not to let violence and guns be a part of their writing. The teacher eventually recognized the fact that her boys needed to write about this stuff. It was a part of them, whether cultural, genetic, or what. They think these things, they need to act them out, and makebelieve and storytelling are certainly the most harmless ways to do it. Suppressing those feelings tells them that part of them is wrong. I tend to agree with her. There is some innate need to talk about violence in the boys I've nannied for. They need to act those fantasies out. All have grown into mature, non-violent, loving teenagers. Telling Toby that you don't believe in violence, but letting him do his thing, while kissing on him, as I know you so, may just be the ticket.

I have my equally-if-not-more complicated bag of estrogen on my lap. But good luck and I hope I can learn something by watching. It's obvious that he's a super smart little booger with that rocket-gun-ship! He'll get your message.

I hear ya on this one. I'm not so into the whole gun thing either. Unfortunately, my Hubbie is from Texas and has different views on this particular matter. We've not encouraged our son by buying any guns or playing any gun games and yet, I remember when he was about 2 years old picking up tinker toys and legos and shooting them at things. I was astounded. Where did he pick it up? Is it born into them? Is it the protecting part of their nature? I have no idea?

Your son is obviously very creative, though. That's an amazing piece of work.

I dislike guns also. In fact I'm so fearful of them, that I made my husband keep his hunting guns at his brother's house (where no children are present).

Guns don't kill people unless there's a person behind it to pull that trigger so I feel it's important to educate and to keep the guns out of reach of little hands. My husband tells me I have an irrational fear, but I disagree. I'm sure your little one will grow up to very responsible about this issue.