Yesterday we (the four kids and i) spent the day in victoria visiting the pediatric allergist for eliza. I don't talk much about her peanut/treenut allergy because i know that it's one of those tough things for people. I know that it's hard when you get a note home from school asking for a nut-free classroom and you have a fussy child who only likes to eat PB&J. Believe me i know. It was tough for us. Obviously for me shelling out $8 for a teeny tiny jar of pea-butter peanut butter is worth every penny. I get that for those without an allergy in their family this IS a big deal in these days of tight wallets and huge grocery bills. We have learned to switch it up a little with cheese sandwiches, turkey pepperoni - all sorts of things that are not those terribly awful lunch in a box convenience food things.
Except, of course, if my child dies after your kindergartner eats PB&J for snack and then gums some toy and my child touches it with her hands and then picks her nose. Except for then. Then, maybe, the nut free classroom makes sense. She has a right to go to school, doesn't she?
So, you see, i can't keep my mouth shut once i start. So, i just don't start. It's a good thing i'm president of that damn school she's going to next year.
Anyway, we were in victoria for the day. It was nice. We drove around our old neighbourhood and all the houses we lived in, one child born in each. I would stop and tell them about the house they were born in and why we loved it. Then we went to our park, normal park we called it.
Every single day, rain, snow, sun, i would bundle one, two and eventually three kids up to go to that park. For six years, from 2:00 until dinnertime, everybody knew where i would be. And yesterday? I missed it so much. I sat playing with parker in the sandbox and was flooded with memories of pushing tristan in the baby swing, building endless sand castles, watching her ride around and around the play area first on a tricycle, then a two-wheeler with training wheels, then just a two wheeler with toby chasing behind on his motorized truck while i pushed eliza in the baby swing, and eventually, right before we moved away, hobbling in to show off parker while my other three roared around with their friends collecting flowers and cleverly hidden treasures.
Once in my life i had a circle of friends who shared in all the ups and downs of raising children and being married and finding jobs, losing loves, moving on - all the adult things.
When i met them i had just one child. I was righteous in the way new mothers can be, certain that i was the only one practicing this thing called attachment parenting. Certain that i was still cooler than everyone else, but so lonely. I happened upon them at the park that i walked through on my way to the mall to get a starbucks. Instantly, they pulled me into their circle. What a wonderful thing. I remember their children turning two and i also remember them turning six. The births of siblings. The extension of the park family.
And then we moved away. And i had every intention of keeping in touch. But distance really does become a barrier. And i change. And they change.
But i still miss them and the missed opportunity of watching their children grow.
Posted by Jess at 11:19 PM Permalink
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I remember last year, at a parent council meeting, listening to a man go on a tirade as to why it made HIS life hard to have to find other foods for his incredibly picky son to eat besides PB&J. What an arse. Someone suggested the alternative peanut butters and he said "Do I look like a pansy tree hugger?".
I so wish I was kidding about this guy.
It was never a big deal and my kids and I learned alot about putting others needs before our own can sometimes be really important. Our new school is not free as there are no allergic children, but should there be, I wouldn't hesitate at all.
Posted by Chantal | March 15, 2006 07:15 AM