1000 bugs

So far, so good. No nits here. I scritched and scratched all day. The minute shane walked in the door, before hello, came "do i have lice?"

and "How the hell do i know for all the gel and shit you have in your hair!"

Forget the kids. I am a wimpy wimp ass when it comes to all things buggy (with apologies to chair.)

The kids at the school (who had lice) are pretty much the most popular kids ever in my household. I love them so much and so do all my kids. Every single school day ends with at least one of my children wrestling or hugging one of them. I was pretty darn sure that today would end with nits nesting in our thick hair.

But, for once, luck is on my side AND i just happen to have loads of tea tree stuff. So we have all been bathed and sprayed and brushed with the tea tree oil.

Thanks everybody. Obviously we are not out of the woods, but having escaped round 1 lice 2006 is a celebration worthy of a beer. So, beer it is. Soon i will be instant garbly messaging.

All the bug thoughts got me thinking of two things today.

First, i have been so caught up in the lice i neglected to have a 1000th comment contest and the opportunity has come and gone. I think the online poker guy won anyway.

Second, how i hate bugs. I've learned to deal with them outside. I just walk away. Except when the ants invade the sandbox. I still haven't figured out how to get rid of them every spring. There are so darn many of them that even the chickens can't keep up. And! If i let the chickens eat the ants in the sandbox? Then i have a sandbox full of chicken poo. Double gross.

Last spring the ants invaded the inside of our house. When, after a few weeks, they persisted despite my best efforts i bought those ant traps. After placing them for a day or two i was horrified to realize that the poison is hidden in peanut butter! Thousands of little ants marching around my house, my house! with allergic eliza! with peanut butter poison all over them. Sucky.

Then in one of my worst waking nightmares a huge carpenter ant crawled over me in my sleep and as i sleepily grabbed it, IT, took a huge chunk out of my cheek. I woke shane up and showed him the dead ant clutched in my fist and the blood dripping down my cheek. Fucking mattresses on the floor. I was tormented a few more times last spring by spiders crawling over me in the night until i finally figured out to close my window. Fresh air be damned.

Really, i should have known that bugfest was upon us as i found two huge spiders in the bathroom, just last night, mere hours before the lice outbreak.

So really, i'm overwhelmed by all the love i felt today regarding my little toby and then the advice on lice! And i have retreated into feelings of unworthiness and insecurity and i am thinking of filing suit against shane for false advertising as he weighs AT LEAST seventy pounds more than when we married. Sorry if that is lost on all of you.

xxoo
jess