That song? "This Year" That is my mantra, my song.
I know i said i wouldn't be back this weekend, but i am soothing my broken soul with some red wine and iTunes. A few minutes after i wrote my last post we headed back to emergency. We spent another six hours there and i think we can now say that he has started to get better. Phew.
I don't think i can really put into words how it feels when your child is sick like that. Sick in a way that you know 99% of the time it works out just fine, but sometimes it doesn't. Breathing, lung function - the centre of our bodies universe - when they are not working right in your little 30 pound child it is truly terrifying. I am thankful for modern medicine no matter how screwed up the system may be.
I'm feeling a little detached from myself. Lonely, sad. Depressed a little i guess. I hesitate to talk about it because i know my mom will read this and worry as mothers do (right... see above). But, a large part of who i am and how i feel about walking through this world is made up by my brain chemistry.
I keep typing more and erasing it.
I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me.
**updated to add**
I forgot to say not only do i have the coldsore, the period, the zits; someone broke into my car in the hospital parking lot and stole my iPod. Those are some bad people, stealing from people in the hospital.
Posted by Jess at 08:37 PM Permalink
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Aw, Sweetie! The hospital again, AND a break-in? I don't know what your homeowners policy is like, or what your deductible is, but our homeowners' policy covers the contents of our vehicles, no matter where they are. Most homeowners' policies do, but most people don't know it. Worth checking out. I am giving you such a cyberhug right now, and so much love to dear Parker.
Posted by Belinda | February 4, 2006 09:37 PM