off the ledge

After a wonderful and relaxing weekend without three of my children I feel as though my mother self has climbed down off the ledge of a damn long summer. School starts in two short weeks and in a way I am a little sad to wrap it all up.

Did I really just say that?

I am really enjoying the lazy mornings; not rushing my children out of the house, bleary eyed, to school.

That's about it though. In actuality, bring it on. Oh dear school come and sweep my children up.

I can say it time and again; being a mom is tough work. I was thinking last night how we all have these incredibly draining hardships in our lives, whether they be physical, emotional or just the worry that something will happen to one of our loved ones, or worrying about doing it right, or just plain worry.

I have been blessed with children that require a lot of worrying; whether it be Toby's speech or Eliza's allergies and asthma. I try not to bitch on about my own particular sob story. I know that we all have them and focusing on the self-pity just makes me sad. It doesn't help me to cope or adjust or lead a good life. Sometimes though the worry is too much. It envelopes me in a fog that i can't see clearly through. It makes my life a long slow trudge.

What the hell am i talking about? I am sort of lost in a post-vacation melt down I think.

But, damn they're so cute. These kids of mine.

In other news I think this whole post could be explained by one thing: extreme sleep deprivation. Since the summer 2005 stomach flu Parker has become a renewed nursing champion. Awake every, hmmm, 20 minutes - all night long! Add onto that various nightmares, ailments, late night blogging and I am tired. Fucking tired.

Goal for this week: get Parker weaned, or at the very least close to weaned. Get happy, have fun, bake cookies and sleep.