I take it all back

Well, this morning we dropped Toby off for his adventure on Saltspring and then Parker, Eliza and I went swimming, ate donairs (man those kids can eat!), and came home for Parker's nap. It is so damn quiet in this house. Eliza and I ate some play-doh pizza, watched the Wiggles and, well, that's it. We are now anxiously waiting for Parker to wake up as the silence is BOR-ING.

I miss Toby and Tristan. I miss Tristan correcting everything I say because she is, well 8 years old and a girl and therefor, always right. I miss Toby begging me to snuggle with him and read the Playmobil catalog for the 275th time.

I don't miss their constant bickering.

I think what it comes down to is that I live in the middle of fucking no where and without 8 grubby feet stomping around demanding everything from me "RIGHT NOW!" I am lonely. Lonely and stranded. Where is the damn mall when I need it. Plus, I only have like $100 to last till monday and it's not enough! Every two weeks Shane deposits our paycheque, and pretty much every time I use up all that money in ten days. He stresses. I pleasure him in one way or another (that's my business internet!) And then he gives me another $300 and says "this HAS to last!" Oh yeah baby.

We have been struggling to live within our means for the past year and pay off all our debts. We have been mildly successful. We have no debt. Mostly because we re-mortgaged our house (that doesn't count as debt in our books) and paid off all our cards. As Shane is self-employed our income varies depending on business and sometimes the direction of the wind. Usually, there is wiggle room and I probably take up all that wiggle with my discretionary spending. Bad me. I had a short-lived addiction to eBay which I had to give up cold turkey before I spent our entire fortune. When you live in the middle of no where spending on-line is really the best way to spend on things you absolutely DON'T need; like the vintage Fisher Price Record Player.

So, I'm trying to live within our means, but crappity crap it's hard.

Shane and I have our own way of cursing that is unoriginal and funny to only us. Like the all time fav: fuckin fuck. Really, it comes down to having no brain when mad and the only thing that comes out is variations of fuck. We actually keep our curses to ourselves for the most part now because we have so many fucking kids. We realized it was a problem when Toby lay down on the floor amongst all the relatives at Christmas time to play with his new toys and started saying things like "goddammit batman get out of the damn car, Jesus Christ!" It was funny for a moment and then terribly humiliating.

I miss Toby. I miss Tristan too.

Parker's up! Booby time.

Weaning soon.... real soon.