bummed out

I have been on the verge of depression for weeks now. Last night I had the most terrifying dream, losing one of my children. I often dream about trying to keep them all together or losing one here or there. But, the actual death of one of my children. That's our worst fear, right? How do I ever get past that fear, somedays I don't know if I can live my life knowing that I could lose them at any moment.

It's parallizing.

It has made me wake up feeling like total, complete crap and it's raining.
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